Saturday, June 13, 2015
big girl pants
Sister Carter (our mission mum) has a saying. When things are tough, she says in her American Mom voice "put on your big pants, honey!"
I'll tell you a secret - your last transfer requires big girl pants. I haven't really spoken about it yet because quite frankly I think I was in denial. But with less than one week to go, my companion says it would be unkind to not say goodbye. My mission mum told me a lot more counsel but I kind of feel like it will only relate when you are in that exact moment, otherwise it will distract you? The Carter's are finishing their mission too! I will be their last intake going home. We'll build beautiful zion again someday :)
Something I've realised lately is that faith is not what I thought it was. I thought faith was the complete absence of doubt, or maybe certain knowledge. I thought that if your faith wasn't unshakeable, then it wasn't faith. But I've learned that faith comes in all shapes and sizes. It is a gift from God. True faith is shown when one moves and acts and reaches upwards and outwards despite the doubt or questions which plague you and ask you to stop.
I really feel like the world today encourages you to discount your faith. You can't prove it? It must not be true! Or science says this or the media said that. Or move on with the times. Even myself, when I feel an inkling of doubt and I feel so anguished because how could I doubt? How can I still have this question?
I wonder if the things I am saying resonates with anyone. In any case, I've learned that it is okay to admit that there are some things you don't know. There are some things that mankind will never know, there are some things that mankind cannot know because our finite mortal bodies and minds cannot even grasp the concept of eternity. And when your crisis of faith comes, when, as Elder Briscoe put it, an earthquake runs through your foundation of faith, the worst thing you can do is cave into those negative thoughts! You know that God is there and that He loves you. This past week there was this man who was awful to us at the door. And Sister Soh said she knew the Saviour was with us. I asked her, how did you know? Could you feel it? She said she couldn't feel it. She just knew.
Trust yourself! Trust that sweet spirit. That's my advice to you and to myself. And as you trust and you move forward, your faith grows. That's faith.
There's so much more I could say and expound upon but I think I'll have to wait until next personal study or the next time I give a talk!
This is so not what I intended to write hahaha. But maybe someone out there needs it? Until next time! :)
Book of Mormon class! ft. Brian who is being baptised this saturday!! and brother finau and brother tuigamala.
And temple trip today with lovely Sister Soh :)
love you all! have a great week!